Friday, July 15, 2005

A glass of bitter red

Wine. Red wine.

I just tried to get myself drunk on red, but the bitterness of the liquid just puts me off. It is a new bottle, but somehow, the taste always seems wrong when I am drinking at home. The wine I take outside always seems ok, even if it was just one randomly bought by a friend for a party.

So officially, I am now mildy sedated. My thoughts free from the shackles of life, my mind free from the drumming pressure of the undead.

Life has almost come to an end for me last week, but I managed to pick myself up. I gave it my best, doing what can be done this week, but alas, God must have forsaken me. Today, I hit the end of the road again. It is as if you followed the yellow brick road and stopped all of a sudden -- because one more step would plunge you down the cliff beyond where the road does not continue.

Is this what life is? An introduction to what you can possibly achieve, followed by a harsh extinction of hopes you hold dear, then a summary execution to summarize your pitiful failures?

Applause people, celebrate while you can... for this, is life.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Open letter to God

God, I feel so lost. I know what I need to do yet I am not doing it. I know what I must do to get to what I need to do yet I am not doing it. I know what I should do to get to what I must do to get to what I need to do yet I am not doing it. I am lost yet I don't want to be lost.

God, you know everything. You know what I am going to say even before I put my thoughts into words. You know what I will do or not do even if you grant me free will. You know what I am feeling now even before I plead for Your mercy. God, would you please grant me manna and save my wretched soul?

God, I am needy. I know there are many around who are even more needy than I, yet I still feel needy. God, you know I am a good person and righteous in my own ways. You know how my heart goes out to those who are less fortunate than I. You know how much I love to help them. You must surely know how lacking my resources are too. Help me please God, for I am sorely needy.

God, I know you know this, but I want to remind you anyway - God, I am a mere mortal living in this earthly world. I am weak and I get disappointed too. When faced with things I have no control over, my faith and confidence will waver too. I poured my trust and hope and wish in you yet I am still left wanting.
God, I don't know how much longer I can hold on.

God, I tell myself you are there even though I do not know your name. I tell myself you are real even though I have not seen your face. I tell myself I can't be wrong since I have done many things only miracles can achieve. But God, I am weak, please make me strong. Please help me achieve what I yearn to achieve. Please help me make everything right.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Tardiness of Google

I don't know what Google is up to these days.

I am an ardent fan of Google and a vocal supporter of them in front of my friends. Oh yes, I have condemned Yahoo countless times because of their substantial lapses too.

The thing is, Gmail has stopped dishing out new features. Blogger is down quite often - like just a min back, I wrote a post and the page just went blank after submitting. Pressing the "Back" button clear the page and I can't be bothered to rewrite what I had written. And after leaving this blog for quite some time, I am awfully impressed when the "internal search engine" failed to turn up any results when I tried the keywords found on this blog.

Can someone tell me what's happening to Google? Has getting rich gone to their head? Do they no longer care about customer service? I surely hope that it is just the calm before the storm - the storm of creative revolution that Google will start once more...

Disturbing thoughts

I always had the urge to gobble Christians up when they come to me and say I will go to hell. Embrace Christ, they say.. else you will be condemned. You are sinful my son, believe and repent.

Perhaps they are right after all. I have sinned and I am so sinful.

I can't seem to focus my thoughts on the things that need to be done. I know I have to do certain things and they cannot be avoided - yet my sinful self rebels against it or simply pay respect to procrastination. Or maybe, it's just plain laziness.

Am I pathetic?

I have promised myself that the least I could do for myself is to stop berating myself. I have scolded and admonished myself enough for the littlest of mistakes and I promised that I would give myself a chance. And indeed, I have been very magnaminous in that, and vigilant in reminding myself to STOP berating myself.

Maybe I should run to the nearest store tomorrow and get a cane. What for? Since I promised to stop berating myself, perhaps I can try canning myself to be disciplined.

How's that for a freak out of control?

Saturday, March 26, 2005

It's been long

It has been long, very long since I last wrote.

Earlier when I tried to log on to blogger, I was denied due to some server error. I felt pent up and wanted the problem resolved quick so that I can blog. But the funny thing is, now that I am in, I am suddenly at a loss for words.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Flaw Discovered in Google Desktop Search, Fixed

What can I say? No one is spared at all...

Flaw Discovered in Google Desktop Search, Fixed
Mon Dec 20, 2004 03:50 PM ET

SEATTLE (Reuters) - Google Inc. (GOOG.O: Quote, Profile, Research) said on Monday it has fixed a software flaw that could allow hackers to view information contained on personal computers running the No. 1 search engine's desktop search software.

"We were made aware of this vulnerability with the Google Desktop Search software and have since fixed the problem so that all current and future users are secure," a Google spokesperson said in an e-mailed statement.

The flaw, discovered by Rice University computer scientists, was first reported by the New York Times on Monday.

Google's desktop search software was introduced in beta, or test mode, two months ago in order to give PC users the ability to quickly search through their hard drives for e-mail, files and other information.

Google's desktop search program displays information retrieved from the PC hard drive alongside search results in a Web browser, and the software flaw would allow a hacker to exploit that feature, an assistant professor and two graduate students at Rice University discovered, according to the New York Times article.

The software flaw that would allow a hacker to trick Google's desktop search software into sending information retrieved from a hard drive to be sent to a Web site other than Google's.

Desktop search is the latest battleground between Google and its two main search rivals, Microsoft Corp. (MSFT.O: Quote, Profile, Research) and Yahoo Inc. (YHOO.O: Quote, Profile, Research) . Microsoft recently launched a preliminary version of its desktop search tool and Yahoo is planning to debut its own tool next month.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

One idiosyncrasy of humans

This week seems to have flown past, just like that. It is technically Sunday already.

Humans are just so weird creatures - well at least I think I think (no repetition here) like almost every other human in this aspect. When you seem to have all the time in the world, you lament why you have nothing to do, etc. But when you realise so much time has passed already, you start to gripe again why time really waits for no man. Ironic isn't it? Not really. This is just us - one inherent idiosyncrasy of us humans.

Friday, December 17, 2004

List of airlines via Singapore -> Update

The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Recall I emailed Changi airport recently to ask for the list of airlines + telephone numbers? (You can read the details in this post.) Well, they have gotten back to me.

It says 11.42 am Friday in their reply and I emailed them on Tuesday 2.21 pm. And so, it is just 3 hours short of 3 days that they reply. SLOW? I think it is slow personally, but to a considerable few, maybe 3 days is very acceptable. Anyway, you can judge for yourself.

For those keen in the info proper, you can get the numbers from . Supposedly, it can be accessed with frames via the main page under Flights -> Airlines -> Airline Contacts. I missed it earliest because the links on the right panel did not look like links to me. So it's either I blame it on my own incompetence, or their poorly designed website. :P

To start from scratch - again

"You can learn new things at any time in your life if you're willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you."

Barbara Sher

Author of "I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was"

Making babies a form of life, lol...

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Yukos Files for Bankruptcy Protection in U.S.

Did you all catch this bit of news? It is really ridiculous if you ask me.

I quote, "OAO Yukos (YUKO.RS) made what may be one of its last acts of brinkmanship with the Russian authorities, announcing Wednesday it has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in a U.S. court." The choice of word, "brinkmanship" is really apt - it is like the last gambit... destined to failure in this case. Do they really think Bush will dare challenge Putin in his own country? I don't think he has the guts for that, honestly.

Though Yukos' fortune is intimately tied to the preposterous rise of the oligarchs, I still think it is a pity that it should be disbanded just like that... it is like a scenario where Microsoft suddenly disappears tomorrow and Bill Gates is reduced to a pauper. Quite unthinkable as yet if you ask me.

You guys and gals can read a report from here. And yes, if you are keen to be one of the last visitors to Yukos' website, it is here.

Destined for greatness

"No one ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him; it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction."

Charles Kendall Adams

1835-1902, Professor of History and Author

Did you get that? I always believe in trying new possibilities. And I firmly believe that I am destined for greatness. Very soon.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Subscribe to the Economist

You might want to check out this magazine - if not the hardcopy, then the sofThe image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.tcopy. I just signed up for some of the freebies - no harm I guess. If they spam me, I will just report them here and shame them like little kids caught peeping at girls. You can grab them here.

Say the right thing in the right place

"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."

Benjamin Franklin
1706-1790, Scientist, Publisher and Diplomat

How do you like this quote? I get my daily dose from Insight of the Day by Bob Proctor. I think saying the right thing at the right time in the right place is already hard enough. Learning when not to say something is really a life-long education. I am trying, wish me luck.

Secrets of Firefox 1.0

The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.I am personally a supporter of Firefox. Just now, I came across this article that I think is worth reproducing here (see below). The full content can be obtained here. Also, there is another article here that explains the many attributes of this slick browser.

By Brian Livingston

It's not so long ago that we learned to master the Windows Registry, a buzzing hive of little-known configuration settings. Now we find that Firefox 1.0, the hot new browser released on Nov. 9 by the Mozilla Foundation, has its own hidden playground for us to tweak.

In case you haven't heard, Firefox is rapidly gaining steam as a free replacement for Microsoft's own Internet Explorer browser., which measures Web behavior in 100 countries around the world, reported on Nov. 22 that IE had lost 5 percentage points of market share in the past six months, dropping to 89% of browser users. Firefox and its predecessor, Mozilla, are up to 7.35% of users. The foundation says 7.5 million people downloaded Firefox 1.0 in the month of November.

That doesn't tell the whole story, though. Experienced Windows admins, who often set the tone for other users, seem to be adopting Firefox at a much higher rate. More than 25% of the visitors to my specialized Web sites —,,, and the like — are now using some version of Firefox or Mozilla, according to my server logs. That's up from only 10.9% as recently as January 2004.

With all this momentum, it's fascinating to find that many powerful capabilities of Firefox 1.0 are still difficult to find and little known. For example, typing the following strings into Firefox's Address Bar (which the new browser calls the Location Bar) and pressing Enter brings up a wide variety of novel applets:

* about: shows info on Firefox's version number, copyright, etc.;

* about:config reveals the Configuration Console, a repository brimming over with scores of customizable settings;

* about:cache displays a summary of both your memory and file cache, with a link to full file listings;

* about:buildconfig lists the compiler options that were used to create your version of Firefox (and, since it's open source, anyone can compile a customized version);

* about:plugins enumerates your installed add-ons, which can be quite numerous since Firefox is designed to be modular and extensible; and

* about:credits is an "Easter egg" that includes the names of hundreds of developers and testers who worked on the product.

Haloscan sucks

The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Yucks. It was quite an experience I had with haloscan - the trackback service suggested by blogger itself. Manual editing messed up my template and auto-install removed the precious few comments by Blog ho.

So end verdict is: I removed it as you can see. Who cares anyway? Why can't I be sane for once and remember that no one will probably read this (except maybe Blog ho - God knows how he found this blog anyway).

Copernic Desktop Search

I am not a geek, but am quite as knowledgeable as one. So, I guess it would not be too presumptuous for me to start recommending software on my blog. I am not getting commission from anywhere or anyone of course.

Let me start with those desktop search services. You read about them when they pop up in headlines and every one of them screams at you for attention - but which is really worth the download and install?

After reading about and trying personally some of them, I would think the champion goes to Copernic Desktop Search. It fulfils almost all criteria of a good search engine, in house. The only qualm I have is that if you have many files on your machine, it does take some time to archive all of them. But because of the archiving nature of this search program, once you finish the archiving operation, that's it - it is a one-off effort, with real-time updating taking minimal effort. Another downside of these desktop search would be that you have to run the program always - if you mean to use it and if you want updating to be done. A pseudo-geek like me doesn't really like seeing more processes than necessary running on my machine. But having said that, if you want to convenience of finding a file that you already have, this Copernic Desktop Search is my recommendation.

A close match would be Google Desktop Search. Compared to the Copernic Desktop Search, Google's gem feels lighter and it integrates nicely with the browser - if you use Google as your primary search engine. My only complaint is that when I tried it, it took so long to archive my documents. In fact, it seems to have jammed there - even when my machine is doing nothing. And I really don't know what Google mean by "doing nothing" since my PC is always doing something. Maybe 99% CPU idling but there is still the 1% that might be taken up to do some updating, some connecting, whatever. So, I only manage to archive a very small percentage of my files because it got stuck. But since everyone else seems to be doing fine, the problem might lie with me. I didn't waste more time fiddling with this program because (1) I have decided not to install a desktop search program and (2) I don't like the way Google Desktop Search caches the history of files that I have already deleted.

I won't rattle on about the pros - because you can read them yourself from their site, and I don't feel like repeating something already published. Hey they are not paying me anything anyway. Likewise for my recommended Copernic Desktop Search.

P.S. Don't even bother about Microsoft's latest offering.

List of airlines via Singapore

I was searching for a list of airlines that stop in Singapore, with their accompanying phone numbers.

So I hopped by Changi's website at , and sent them an email request. The time now is as can be seen. Let this be one test of Singapore's efficiency in the realm of air services. I shall keep you all informed.

Removing oil stain from finger

I have been trying to remove this oil stain on my finger to no avail. Anyone know how?

And yes, I am talking about FINGER not CLOTHES.

Free blog templates

I am just not a designer. I can appreciate good designs but don't ask me to design.

Windows has a rival in free Unix/Linus.
Internet Explorer has a rival in free Firefox.

Outlook has a rival in free Thunderbird.
MS Office has a rival in free OpenOffice.
Norton/McAfee/TrendMicro has a rival in free AVG/Avast.

Any-useless-paid-firewall has a rival in free ZoneAlarm.

Windows Media Player has a rival in free Winamp.
Photoshop has a rival in free GIMP.
Acrobat has a rival in free Ghostgum.

And the free list goes on.

Why can't I find any NICE and FREE blog templates? Get cracking nice souls.

Writers revealed, catch the waves

Years back when a friend approached me to start a diary online, I told this person off. I told him that for God's sake, do something worthwhile with your life. So if you ask me now, I am not quite sure for whose sake I am hitting off the keyboard for.

Because of the Blog Revolution (and if this is not an already bandied phrase, then I just coined it), the world has suddenly become literate. It is as if some God of Writing in his infinite humor cast a spell on the world and made everyone writers. I am sure I am making sense here - just surf around and flip up som
e blogs and do your own litmus test. The language used is really not any worse than those at the major dailies. In fact sometimes, it is even better.

So I must say I am impressed. And on top of that, I am honored to be part of this big thing. While the sea is stormy, ride the waves. I enjoy writing